We are in the golden age of information availability, we are, as Issac Newton put it, standing on the shoulders of those who came before us. Yet, as we all have seen, it’s possible to get stuck, listening to the same music, watching the same TV shows, and enjoying the same types of books that we have since we were teenagers. Don’t allow the opportunity for enrichment to pass you by, but use the vast ocean of knowledge and culture available to elevate yourself.
In The Plan we’ll show you how to build a deeper appreciation for any form of art or culture.
Although we live in a world of almost limitless access to knowledge, day to day stresses, complications, and worries often crowd out time for new endeavors. While every day presents a new opportunity for growth, in order to actually take advantage of these opportunities we must prioritize personal growth and development, and explicitly make time for it. This can be challenging, but as the research shows, it’s worth our effort.
Unlike some of the other microdoses, which are specific and tactical, this plan provides a general framework which can be applied to any cultural endeavor. We here at Grüner believe that building appreciation for art and culture is among the greatest joys and challenges that life can bring, enriching both your life and those with whom you choose to share it. Here is our guide to expanding your interests, trying something fresh, and deepening your appreciation for culture. All of these steps require you to embrace the role of a learner, someone who, without judgement or ego, is here to increase their understanding.
Choose a domain. When it comes to art and culture, the options are wide and diverse. Finding a good starting point might seem like a daunting task. Our suggestion is to imagine a person who you would describe as cultured, worldly, or erudite. What are that person’s interests? Imagine a cocktail party where a lively debate is taking place. What is that debate about? Lean into something that will elevate the vision you have of yourself. Just as a bodybuilder would look up to someone who has a great physique, who do you look up to as an aspirational image, and what is their intellectual “workout regimen?” Do not be afraid to lean into existing interests or to try something completely foreign. Here are some of the things that we at Grüner started to appreciate as adults:
Determine what you like. This is the exposure phase, where you completely lean into the new fascination. This is when you go to the museum, try different types of wine, listen to all the operas you can get your hands on, eat at all the restaurants that feature the cuisine you are now exploring. The purpose of this phase is to understand the scope of what you’re exploring and to determine which parts of it are most appealing to you, even if you can’t yet define why. If someone experimenting with different genres of music decided opera wasn’t for them, but Mississippi Delta Blues was, they now have a jumping off point. By narrowing your scope, you can begin to develop expertise and a point of view. Learning the history and tasting notes of every type of wine is impossible, but understanding one varietal will be far less intimidating and way more accessible. This step should be non-judgemental and free from preconceptions. Whatever you might have thought about blues music or wine, you have found something that you enjoy, embrace that.
Understand the Context. Most people stop at determining what they like. We suggest that you dig deeper, to understand the deeper context around your new interest. This step can begin with something as simple as a Google search. Some things to search for might be, the year that a particular piece of art was made, the world conditions under which it was produced, whether or not the piece was popular, or critically acclaimed, when it was debuted, and has perception of the piece changed since then. With the quickest of Google searches, you can find out that Rothko, the much disputed artist, was considered to be of the school of Abstract Expressionism. The cultural and social impacts of the horrors brought about by World War II are a direct link in the evolution of this school of art and Rothko’s paintings. This small bit of context can bring life and meaning to a piece of art (like Rothko’s Untitled 1953) which otherwise you might have just thought was orange, purple, and black on a canvas.
Compare/contrast/critique. Bloom’s Taxonomy gives us a framework for describing the various levels of learning. Among the highest levels of comprehension on a topic are the abilities to analyze and evaluate. Applying this to art and culture, an invaluable step in appreciation is the ability to critique and compare two pieces of content intelligently. This does not require complete understanding of the subject matter, but rather a humble desire to understand the variations, good, bad, or indifferent, between two things. Knowing what you like is one thing, but being able to articulate why you like it and why it is a good piece of art in the grander context is quite another. A good way to build this skill is to read the criticism written by experts in the field. When coming to this step, it’s important to remember that art is inherently subjective, so while we encourage flexing your critical muscles, try to avoid becoming too rigid in your opinions. There’s nothing noble in looking down on others for their subjective tastes.
Challenge yourself. Now that you have refined what you like to something fairly specific, it is a good time for a bit of reflection. Moving back to steps one and two, try to remember the things that you ruled out. The things that were not your cup of tea. Ones that perhaps made you say “how could anyone enjoy this?” There is a famous sentiment that follows abstract art: my kid could’ve painted that. Now, whether or not that is true (https://www.wsj.com/articles/could-your-child-really-paint-that-1539959482), the abstract movement is nonetheless important. This step is all about challenging yourself, is it possible for you to appreciate something that you presently don’t understand? Can you seek out someone (an expert perhaps) who really enjoys that style and take them on as a mentor in understanding it?
Engage. Of all the steps on this list, this might be the most intimidating. In this step you will engage with the community surrounding your newfound interest. This can take a number of different forms based on what you have chosen in steps one and two. Many museums, opera houses, and theaters host young patrons programs for those under 39 (only in the world of museums do you still get to be called young at 39), which, in addition to membership, allow you to attend galas and special events with other cultural appreciators. Depending on where you live, wine clubs/vineyards, poetry readings, and live jazz might be easier to find than you think. Here are some examples of events and programs in New York City:
Some useful guides on hosting DIY cultural events:
Alex - I am a naturally curious person, so my favorite step on the journey toward learning something new is understanding the context. If I am going to be critical of myself, I would say that sometimes I get stuck at this step indefinitely for certain things. I find that the richness and availability of interesting information never ends, and learning something new everyday is very important to me. Propelling myself forward into the critique stage has been a fun challenge!
Frank - Ever since I was a child, I’ve wanted to be considered cultured, to understand things like art and classical music, and to be able to speak intelligently about them in mixed company. While I have only just cracked the surface of most of my cultural endeavors, I’ve found the journey to be extremely rewarding. My biggest tip is to spend more time at museums, and to change the way you interact with the exhibits. I tend to move fast through the collections, taking in the whole scene, on the lookout for emotional reactions. That’s my radar. Once I feel an emotional response, I’ll sit with that particular piece for a while, exploring my reaction to it. Only then will I read the plaque and understand the context behind it. This exercise helps me to develop my own point of view, then expand upon it.
While stimulants can have their place, cutting them down or out can be a game changer for those struggling with anxiety. In this microdose we are going to look at what stimulants do in the body, when they are problematic, and how we can reduce them.
In The Plan, you are going to assess your usage of caffeine, sugar and alcohol in day to day life and reduce if needed (adding in luxurious, mood-friendly alternatives).
Coffee is one of the most controversial drinks in the world: you might see some articles touting its antioxidant content, and others saying that quitting it changed the person's life. Stimulants (coffee, tea, chocolate, alcohol, etc.,) can play an important part in our daily routines and in our culture, so cutting them out can be a challenge, and, for some, not a necessity. Is there research to suggest whether these common stimulants are safe productivity aids, or something more nefarious?
Caffeine
Sugar
Alcohol
Before delving into the plan for assessing and perhaps modifying stimulant intake, we would like to include a small disclaimer. The information here is based on research and personal experience, not on medical expertise. If you are experiencing anxiety, depression, or other mental or physical health concerns, seek the advice of a professional who will be able to support and help you.
Assess your stimulant intake and tolerance.
Not all stimulant consumption is the same. It can range from a morning latte to a piece of cheesecake eaten in front of an open fridge at 2:00 am. In this step, we would like you to keep note (whether using an application, a note pad, or just a sticky note on your desk) of when you have food or drink that would produce a stimulating or mood-altering effect (coffee, tea, chocolate, sugary foods, alcohol, etc.) during the day, and begin to note how they affect your mood and sleep.
There is a genetic marker (CYP1A2) that determines if you’re a fast or slow metabolizer of caffeine. Fast metabolizers see no negative impact from moderate caffeine consumption, whereas slow metabolizers experience extended symptoms, such as sleep disruption, and a spike of adrenaline, because the caffeine isn’t cleared from their system for hours.
If you’ve taken a DNA test, such as 23andMe, you can access your raw genomic data, and search for this specific enzyme. If your genotype for the CYP1A2 gene is CC or AC, you’re a slow metabolizer. If it’s AA, you’re a fast metabolizer (lucky you).
Even without your DNA data, you can determine if your stimulant consumption is affecting your wellbeing with these questions:
Remove clearly harmful stimulants.
The most obvious step here is to eliminate stimulants that are only causing adverse effects, i.e, sugar and energy drinks. Eliminating all added sugar completely might be an unrealistic goal, but cutting down is something we can all do. Watch out for hidden sugars when you are eating snack foods and try to note when you have “lows” after eating something especially sweet. None of what we are saying right now applies to whole fruits. The benefits of having a fruit rich diet are plentiful, so substituting some of the sweeter things in your diet for dates is a fantastic option.
As the research indicates, it’s not necessary to eliminate caffeine/coffee/tea completely to feel the positive effects of cutting back. Some people find making a pour over in the morning to be a soothing part of their morning ritual. This is just about being aware of your consumption and cutting back until you feel no negative effects, while, if continuing to drink coffee, for example, gaining what antioxidant benefits the science has shown to exist.
Apply enjoyable and healthy substitutions.
Lowering your anxiety might be as simple as switching your brewing technique, if you prefer a warm cup of coffee in the morning. One shot of espresso contains 70 milligrams of caffeine (a grande latte at Starbucks contains two shots of espresso), whereas an eight ounce cup of filter brewed coffee has 95 milligrams. A 16 ounce cup of nitro cold brew has 325 milligrams of caffeine and a regular cold brew, 200. A still caffeinated alternative, matcha green tea powder, comes in at around 65 mg caffeine per teaspoon (this makes an 8-12 ounce drink, depending on preferred strength). As a side note, the caffeine in matcha affects the body differently because of the existence of the amino acid L-theanine, which has a stress reducing effect. Aside from switching to the caffeine-free versions of your favorite drinks, there are alternatives that are tasty and some of them have positive side effects, here are some of our favorites:
Coffee alternatives:
Low or no alcohol alternatives:
Soda alternatives:
Alex - Just like everyone else, the pandemic stressed me out. I was relying too heavily on stimulants in the morning, and alcohol at night to wind down at night. After assessing my usage, I ended up cutting coffee completely and switching to matcha tea in the mornings, and an herbal tonic in the evenings. I love preparing a seltzer and bitters drink in the evenings with my dinner to feel like I am having something special, without the negative impacts to my sleep schedule, or mood.
Frank - I was fairly certain that “caffeine had no effect on me” until I experimented with switching my daily oat milk latte to decaf for a week. I experienced headaches and significant fatigue. Unfortunately, I’m a slow metabolizer, so I’ve used this data to begin reducing my caffeine intake…. though I do still have the occasional full-caf latte. No one’s perfect.
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There is an ever-growing list of tasks that you need to accomplish every day. These tasks range from the mundane to the critical, from life logistics (picking up the kids from soccer) to work demands (creating a new presentation) to self-enrichment projects (writing a novel). We all have a finite amount of productive time in a day. Without a structured approach, procrastination and simply losing track of things can cause us added stress, and prevent us from doing what’s most important.
Using a simple task scheduling framework (detailed in The Plan below) will help you to be more productive, while also giving you space to reflect on your priorities.
Note: This is not just about being more productive. The research shows that good time management is most directly correlated to an improved sense of wellbeing.
There is growing evidence that procrastination and task-avoidance behaviors can be damaging to one's physical health, in addition to the negative impact that these habits can have on work performance and personal relationships. One of the reasons that this behavior negatively impacts wellbeing, is that procrastinators were found to engage in fewer wellness practices and self-care than those that don’t procrastinate.
Conversely, good time management techniques are positively correlated to increased work performance, and a general sense of wellbeing. By attacking tasks head on, we reduce stress, and by prioritizing the important tasks, over what happens to be directly in front of us, we make time for what’s meaningful.
Note: There are a number of complex psychological causes for procrastination. While the tips below are generally effective for increasing productivity, they are not meant to replace the guidance of a mental health professional in the case of procrastination habits that significantly impact daily life.
Negative impacts of procrastination:
“...procrastination was associated with higher stress, more acute health problems, and the practice of fewer wellness behaviours. Procrastinators also reported fewer household safety behaviours, and less frequent dental and medical check-ups.” https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886906004454
Positive effects of good time management:
“Results show that time management is moderately related to job performance, academic achievement, and wellbeing. Time management also shows a moderate, negative relationship with distress... We also note that time management seems to enhance wellbeing-in particular, life satisfaction-to a greater extent than it does performance.” https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33428644/
The world is certainly not lacking in frameworks, models, and acronyms which claim to increase your productivity, most of which suffer from being too complicated or reliant on special tools or apps. As the expression goes: the best [insert productivity method/diet/etc...] is the one you’ll actually use. Here’s a very simple technique for scheduling tasks that requires nothing more than a free online calendar.
Build a quick intake process for new tasks
Tons of important tasks are left undone or end up delayed because we forget to record them when they first enter our notice. We think we’ll remember them, and they disappear into the ether.
When a task comes in, follow this simple intake process:
If the task will take under 15 minutes:
If the task will take over 15 minutes:
Commit all urgent or important tasks that take over 15 minutes to the calendar
The importance of this step is that it creates a visual acknowledgement of the fact that our time is finite and that we do not have infinite capacity to add additional tasks. Everything we commit to takes a slot of time away.
Google Calendar is very useful for this purpose. If you’re new to GCal, here is a helpful getting started guide: https://support.google.com/a/users/answer/9302892?hl=en&ref_topic=9282962&visit_id=637689703892165955-3421816470&rd=1
We recommend doing this directly on your work and personal calendars, as it creates visibility into your tasks for those that can see your schedule, and prevents meetings from being scheduled over the top of heads-down work time. However, if your particular work requires you to prioritize meetings, perhaps with external clients, it may be preferable to create a new calendar for this purpose that you can overlap with your shared schedules. Here’s how to do this in Google Calendar: https://support.google.com/calendar/answer/37095?hl=en
When filling in otherwise unoccupied time on your calendar with events that reflect tasks, make sure to include the following:
Rightsize your calendar to reflect reality and notate deferred tasks
At several regular intervals throughout the day (we use lunch, end of workday, and before our nighttime wind-down routine) go back and correct your calendar to reflect what you actually accomplished during that time period. Especially in the beginning, this will typically mean enlarging the tasks you had scheduled to reflect that they actually took longer than you thought. You’ll also start to realize that, while it may be attractive to completely fill your time with tasks, in practice, your day tends to have more of a wave pattern to it, with productivity coming in spurts, followed by periods of down time. The purpose of this step is just to record the outcomes, and make note of tasks that get deferred. Try to avoid judgement.
If the task is deferred from its original time slot, but completed the same day, do nothing. Flexibility is a virtue.
If the task is deferred to the next day, add an asterisk to the beginning of the event’s title. Do this every time this happens.
Reflect on your day, and the tasks that roll over
At the end of each day, take some time to reflect on the following:
Alex - While I don’t use a digital calendar, I use a similar hard copy option: Bullet journaling. Time management has always been a challenge for me, so keeping tasks in the forefront of my mind is invaluable. Using the roll-over method has helped me to cut down on my overdue tasks.
Frank - I use this method extensively and have found that it empowers me to “say no” to tasks that do not directly align with my objectives, which was previously very challenging for me. Additionally, by doing this, I have a detailed canonical diary of what I’ve done every day, which is extremely helpful when it’s time to write my performance review.
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Beef, pork, and poultry increase the risk of heart disease, diabetes, colorectal cancer, and obesity. Reduce the amount you consume by finding opportunities to swap meat with plant-based options. While there are many new meat alternatives coming to the market, most are heavily processed and high in saturated fats. Tofu is a healthy and extremely versatile food that, once you learn how to use it, can easily fit into your existing recipes and repertoires.
In The Plan we’ll show you some fast, easy, and delicious ways to cook with this healthful ingredient.
Heart health, greenhouse gas emissions, rainforest protection, animal welfare: The list of reasons to eat less meat continues to grow. According to a recent study, if everyone in the country reduced their consumption of beef, pork, and poultry by just a quarter, we’d save about 82 million metric tons of greenhouse gas emissions per year. It’s not easy to change your diet, especially when it comes to comfort foods, stressful days, and being less than adventurous in the kitchen. The upside to reducing animal protein intake does not stop at the environment, the benefits to overall health cannot be understated when it comes to the substitution of plant-based alternatives (research below).
Additionally, some men believe that they should avoid soy because of the phytoestrogen, but this is untrue. Although soy contains isoflavones (phytoestrogen), the science tells us that dietary consumption causes little to no effect on testosterone.
Better for greenhouse gas emissions: The IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) recommends a move toward more plant-forward eating to combat the devastating effects of climate change on our planet, indicating that they present “major opportunities for adaptation and mitigation while generating significant co-benefits in terms of human health.” https://www.ipcc.ch/srccl/chapter/summary-for-policymakers/
Replace the protein in two or three meals a week with delicious and nutritious tofu!
Learn about tofu:
Legend has it that tofu was discovered 2,000 years ago when a chef accidentally curdled soy milk with seaweed. Needless to say, a food this old has many uses and techniques abound for cooking with it. Despite its long history, tofu has a reputation as a “hippie food” in the Western world. Some people find it to be an intimidating ingredient, maybe even assuming that it will turn out bland.
The first step in understanding and cooking with tofu is learning that there are different types, and that they have different applications. For protein replacements, you are going to want to stick with a firm or very firm tofu. Other types including silken (add to smoothies for a protein boost) and soft (makes a delicious pudding, if you are avoiding dairy) are also fantastic and have many uses in the kitchen.
Prepping and pressing tofu
The secret to delicious tofu is getting as much water out of it as possible before marinating and/or cooking it. Here are a couple of ways to do this:
Preparation 1: Crispy Tofu - use as a replacement for traditionally fried or breaded proteins
This is Alex’s favorite method for cooking extra firm tofu. It is easy, quick, tasty, and virtually fool-proof.
This method of baking tofu can be used in many different applications: Rice bowls, on top of soup, in tacos, on top of noodle dishes, and in sandwiches (by cutting the tofu into larger pieces).
Preparation 2: Seared Tofu - use as a replacement for traditionally grilled proteins
This is Frank’s favorite method for using tofu as a meat replacement. It takes a little bit of practice to get the hang of, but is extremely versatile.
This preparation is a great replacement for grilled chicken or pork. Try serving this seared tofu with roasted sweet potatoes and a small salad.
Alex - The thing that most people seem to dislike about tofu is my absolute favorite thing about it. It’s subtle soybean-y flavor is not the strongest, but it’s texture is the perfect sponge for picking up whatever flavor you want. When I make my crispy tofu in the oven, I usually serve it with a huge grain bowl of brown rice, edamame (soy on soy!), avocado, and some buttery soft lettuces or shredded carrots. The sauce can be whatever your preference is, I like either a peanut sauce or a tart black vinegar based sauce. Once you realize how simple it is to cook delicious tofu, you’ll never go back!
Frank - I used to think that tofu was spongy and bland, and tended to avoid it. It wasn’t until I learned how to press and prepare tofu to achieve a denser texture, that I started to appreciate just how great this ingredient is. I eat tofu at least 5 times a week. I might be obsessed. I highly recommend trying to find a local, small-batch producer of tofu, and buying a good tofu press.
There is a proven, direct correlation between the quantity of added sugar in your diet and your likelihood of developing obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and chronic inflammation. By swapping extremely nutritious dates in place of harmful sugar additives, you can significantly reduce your risk for the most common causes of premature death, while still enjoying many of the same sweet treats.
See The Plan below for details on date swaps, basic recipes, and tips on sourcing high quality dates.
There’s a lot of confusion around sugar. Sugar occurs naturally in all foods that contain carbohydrates, such as fruits, vegetables, grains, and dairy. Consuming whole foods that contain natural sugar is completely fine, and consuming whole plant foods has been found to be particularly beneficial, as they contain high amounts of fiber, essential minerals, and antioxidants.
The problem is with added sugar, which shows up a wide variety of processed foods. These refined sugars (isolated from their original whole food sources, with all the beneficial elements removed) lead to increases in heart disease, diabetes, obesity, inflammation, and fatty liver disease.
Avoiding added sugar can be very difficult in a typical western diet. While there exist several artificial sweeteners on the market, it is unclear if these are actually beneficial. A proven healthful whole food replacement is needed.
The facts about added sugar:
The facts about dates:
Using Dates:
Whole Dates (pitted) - Eaten whole, dates are an excellent snack, can be added to a salad, or blended into a smoothie for sweetness. Medjool dates are particularly good for this purpose, as they are large and particularly sweet (though if you can find them, Barhi dates make for a special caramel-like treat).
Date Syrup - Great for sweetening hot beverages, like coffee and tea, making marinades, and replacing maple syrup, honey, and chocolate sauce. Can be purchased (look for products that contain only dates) or homemade: https://www.indianhealthyrecipes.com/date-syrup/
Date Sugar/Date Paste - Can be used as a 1:1 replacement in most recipes that call for granulated sugar. Simply grind dates to a sugar-like texture in a food processor (or purchase pre-made date sugar, which will have a drier consistency). We like to use Deglets for this purpose. Note that homemade date sugar will be more paste-like.
Sourcing Dates:
There are tons of varieties of dates, which come in different sizes, flavor profiles, and textures, ranging from dry and crystalized to wet and caramel-like. The two most commonly found types of dates in the US are deglets (smaller and drier) and medjools (larger and more moist). For most uses we suggest buying whole (not pitted) organic Medjools, from the most local source you can find. Many natural food stores will sell dates in bulk.
For a special treat, you can look for more exotic date varieties. Some of our favorites are Barhi, Honey Dates, and Halawi. If possible, consider buying direct from a farm. We personally buy from The Date People: http://www.datepeople.net
Storing and Handling Dates:
Though you will often see them stored at room temperature, for maximum freshness, dates should be stored in the refrigerator (where they will last for 6 months), or frozen (where they will last one year).
Dates should be gently washed before consumption. When you cut open a date to remove the pit, check that there are no black spots on the inside. Dates with black spots should be discarded.
Alex - We make large batches of what we call “Date Time”, which is Medjool dates, cut in half and filled with unsweetened peanut butter, topped with roasted hazelnuts, drizzled with melted dark chocolate, and finished with a light dusting of Maldon’s salt. These are stored in the freezer, and should be partially thawed for 5 minutes at room temperature before being eaten. These have completely replaced candy bars for us.
Frank - I find that using date syrup in my morning latte (made with oat milk) results in a richer and more complex taste. Since switching, I find that conventionally sweetened coffee now tastes very artificial to me.
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C.S. Lewis once said “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” While a beautiful sentiment, the great author might actually have been wrong. New evidence suggests that those who feel connected to others have a healthier body mass index, improved cancer survival rates, decreased cardiovascular mortality, reduced depressive symptoms, and improved overall mental health.
Having meaningful relationships with others makes us happy, healthy, and more satisfied with our lives. Take proactive steps to make meaningful connections with friends, family, and new acquaintances daily to maintain mental and physical wellbeing. In The Plan we’ll show you how to accomplish this.
A survey revealed that nearly eight in 10 members of Gen Z (79%) are lonely, and seven in 10 (71%) of millennials. The youngest among us are the most lonely, with boomers coming in at only 50%. This is a growing problem with three in five Americans reporting feeling lonely. Loneliness impacts every avenue of our life: from weight, to mental health, to performance at work. The huge increase in social media usage, along with the pandemic, has only increased isolation and isolating behavior. The prolonged loneliness of quarantine and social distancing produces something in our brain that is akin to physical hunger. Social contact is now understood to be a basic need, just like food.
In the days of social distancing and increased digital interactions, it can be a daunting task to start connecting with people and building new friendships. There are a million and one resources, from serious medical journals to articles in Cosmo, about how to make and maintain adult relationships. Still, making friends can be extremely challenging, and it only gets harder the older you get. Here is a method that we’ve found helpful in maintaining regular social interactions, and deepening our existing connections:
Catalog your connections:
It’s important to remember that making meaningful connections starts, not with others, but with yourself. We often tend to place the onus for losing touch on others. It can be helpful to do a bit of self-reflection. Grab a notebook and make the following lists:
As you review your lists, ask yourself:
Look beyond common interests. Be interested.
The first thing we tend to consider when making connections is shared interests and experiences. This is the most common way we find friends -- classmates in college, those working similar positions at a company, going to the same concert in high school, etc... While common ground is a great starting place for friendships, we would encourage you to challenge your idea of what this means. Being curious about others passions will open you up to a world of new connections.
Think about the people you might have put on the back burner in your life because your interests have drifted and now seem disparate. Is there something that you could perhaps learn from them? As an example, a friend of yours might start roller skating as a hobby. Even though you have never had any particular interest in this, you might send them a message saying how much they are progressing, and ask what made them interested in the hobby. In just one or two sentences your interest has created a wonderful square of common ground on which both of you can stand.
Be the initiator:
Identify three people from the lists you made, who you have either lost touch with, or lost interest in, and shoot them a text, saying that you’ve been thinking of them. This might go unanswered, or only lead to a shallow reply, but regardless of outcome, you have made an effort to keep the lines open. The kindling of large friendships can be tiny moments of connection.
Create opportunities to practice small talk:
It’s not just deep friendships that are valuable for our wellbeing. Social interactions of all sorts are beneficial. Find ways to practice small talk and make connections daily, whether it’s with the cashier at the local grocery store or the person dropping off your delivery tacos.
Try out some big talk:
Small talk is great, but it’ll only get you so far. Don’t be afraid to start fresh discussions, share your passions, and go beyond the pleasantries. Here are a few prompts you can use to initiate deeper conversations:
Write a letter:
This step is not about making new connections, but deepening our most valuable ties. Think about someone that has had an outsized impact in your life, be it a relative, a childhood friend, or a colleague, and write them a physical letter. Tell them about the ways that their friendship has affected your life. This experience can be extremely cathartic. You may find the act so enjoyable that it becomes a regular practice in your life.
Alex - Being homeschooled through high school, I struggled in my late teens and early twenties to make deep, meaningful relationships. My social growth was slightly stunted. Making sure to tell people when I was thinking of them, or saw something that I thought might interest them was a huge leap forward for me. The biggest thing that helped me, was never assuming someone else’s lack of interest. When I had something weird to share that I had learned, I would share it with a few of my girlfriends, even if I thought they would not be interested at all. Sometimes they weren’t, but sometimes I would be surprised, and we would have a stronger relationship for having shared something new together.
Frank - I’m not great at maintaining friendships. I found it very helpful to catalog my connections and based on those lists, I’ve kicked off a few group text threads, which have kept me going through the pandemic. We also instituted a family newsletter that we physically mail out toward the beginning of the year. We even hired an artist on Instagram to draw our card. Several of our friends have taken to sending us letters back.
Creating a spa environment in your home will enhance your relaxation. For most, the image of a spa is a place where your mind and body are at rest, and can begin to de-stress. Research shows that spa-like relaxation techniques have a positive effect on our subjective wellbeing and mental health. Bring a trip to the spa home with you, and reclaim balance in your living space.
In the Plan section we’ll show you how to create a serene and peaceful environment at home.
The world is a hectic place, and for many, the chaos of modern life has creeped into our homes, where we should find sanctuary. Working from home has brought all of the stress of the outside world to our living rooms, kitchens, and bedrooms. We need to set aside time not only to keep our homes livable, but also to enhance them, so they are comfortable and restorative.
Your home should be a sanctuary, a place of refuge and safety, not only from the cares of the outside world, but from the internal stressors we feel on a daily basis. Western culture does not put a particularly high value on wellness, therefore, dedicated self-care spaces are considered an extravagance. We challenge that idea and suggest that creating a dedicated wellness space in the home is not an indulgence, but a necessity. Here are our tips on creating an environment that enables you to enhance your wellness. Even if you live in a studio apartment, you can accomplish this.
Dedicate Space - Spas have dedicated areas for waiting, treatments, refreshments, and sometimes reflection (e.g., a solarium). Psychologically speaking, dedicated spaces help prime the mind for the activities that take place there. For example, the research recommends not getting into bed until you are ready to go to sleep, because this will train your brain to fall asleep faster, recognizing that this is solely a place for sleeping. In the same way, when you create a dedicated space for wellness in your home, you will train your body and mind to be prepared for relaxation and reflection. This space will vary widely between people and homes, but here are a few questions you can ask yourself to determine what that space might be for you:
Engage Your Senses - Spas are designed to engage all of your senses. From the temperature and smell to the infused water and dim lighting, they are optimized for relaxation. While dim lighting and water features are probably not practical in all homes, take a moment to consider which of these elements you can include in your personal space.
Cosseting (to care and protect in an overindulgent way) - Spa specialize in pampering. Doing this at home requires carving out the time and effort to do something special, solely for your own enjoyment. While this may feel self-indulgent at first, make a conscious effort to de-stigmatize the practice. You deserve care. A simple way to start, is to turn one of your regular showers (or baths) a week into a lavish experience. Here’s how:
Alex - Creating a dedicated space for wellness was particularly hard for me, because I tend to work from multiple places in the house on any given day. I start out on the couch, move to a chair on the landing, and finish my workday standing at the kitchen counter on my laptop. To completely designate a space that is solely for reflection was definitely a challenge. I ended up using the one space in the house that I use for no other purpose than to treat myself, the bathtub.
Frank - I’m a bit of a spa aficionado. I love being pampered, but I always feel weird when I’m pampering myself. There’s a stigma around being too self-indulgent, especially as a man. What’s helped me is to connect my spa rituals to other wellness practices like gratitude, mindfulness, and skincare, so that I feel I’m also being productive in my self-care. Hopefully one day, I can feel comfortable to just relax, without the presence of a massage therapist and an infrared sauna.
Life is chaotic. More than a third of Americans do not get enough sleep. Creating a wellness-focused evening routine can improve sleep quality while reducing anxiety. Invest just 20 minutes nightly, to implement a simple end of day ritual that accomplishes the following:
See The Plan below for a simple and effective nightly self-care routine.
Poor sleep has a direct negative impact on mood and thinking ability, and has been linked to a wide spectrum of maladies that impact overall health and subjective wellbeing. What’s more, irregular sleep patterns hurt our metabolism, further compounding the negative impacts of sleep debt. It was previously thought that missed sleep could be “made up for” on the weekends, but new research is proving this to be untrue.
On a more philosophical level, simply allowing our days to run out, unexamined, perhaps to the din of old sitcoms in the background, as we fade out of consciousness, prevents us from taking time for self-reflection, stunts our personal growth, and robs us of an opportunity to invest in a better tomorrow.
Effects of poor sleep:
Benefits of an end of day routine:
Determine a consistent bedtime:
Working backwards from your earliest typical wake up time in the week, determine a bedtime that will allow for a minimum of 7.5 hours of sleep, assuming it will take you approximately 15 minutes to fall asleep. (For example, if you have to wake up at 7:30 am to be ready on time for a team meeting every Tuesday, consider that your daily wake up time, and subtract 7 hours and 45 minutes. This means that you should go to bed no later than 11:45 pm every night.)
A note on sleep aids: while popular, most commercially available Melatonin supplements contain fairly large doses of this powerful hormone. Though generally considered safe, we do not recommend Melatonin supplementation without consulting your doctor.
[Pre-routine] 1 hour before bedtime:
[The Routine] 30 minutes before bedtime:
Get in bed and drift off to sleep, knowing you’ve taken a moment to invest in yourself.
Alex - I am not one to treat myself. For the most part, my mind tells me that I need to earn any relaxation that I receive. Shifting away from this belief and carving out time for myself in the evenings has enriched my life. I find taking time, our most valuable resource in life, is an empowering endeavor and really feels like an investment in my wellbeing and health.
Frank - I’ve been a problem sleeper for most of my life. A therapist made the connection that this may partially result from the fact that my father died suddenly in the middle of the night when I was a small child. I also suffer from a phenomenon known as revenge bedtime procrastination. The only thing that’s helped has been to build a consistent routine around going to bed, that shifts my perception of bedtime from a burdensome necessity to a joyful act of self-care. Additionally, weight lifting has made me a lot more excited about sleep, since it’s so obviously necessary to make continued progress.
Some degree of failure is almost always required to achieve meaningful progress. The ability to persist in the face of failure is the hallmark of a high achiever. Yet, failure is often unpleasant, so most people struggle to adopt a mindset that embraces this facet of life. While there is nothing inherently noble in failure, the stigma surrounding it can choke out potential avenues for growth.
Build failure into your daily life to normalize this essential step toward personal and professional progress, harnessing your feelings of frustration to propel you forward. In The Plan, we’ll show you practical steps to build comfort around failure.
Excessive fear of failure (atychiphobia) can be crippling, as it prevents us from trying things that we assume will not go successfully. For many of us, while we intellectually understand that it’s natural to experience a learning curve as we undertake a new project, finding ourselves stymied by early missteps, either because we feel that they indicate something inherently deficient in us, or we simply feel embarrassed.
Fear of failure in a population even has a measurable impact on economic growth. The World Bank has a fear of failure rate index, indicating the percentage of the 18-64 year old population who perceive good opportunities to start a business but indicate that fear of failure would prevent them from doing so. In the United States, this index is markedly on the rise.
A failure-tolerant, growth-oriented mindset is a superpower. To adopt this point of view, you’ll need to get used to failure, take a structured approach to learning from it, and find ways to leverage the frustration of missteps productively. Here’s our plan:
Pick up a hobby that allows you to experiment with failure in a low stakes environment
The idea here is to choose something that you do not already possess a natural ability for. Look for something that will be uniquely difficult for you, where failure will be a constant part of the journey. If you tend to be uncoordinated, perhaps you could learn to juggle. If you’re nervous about public speaking, you could join an improv group. The key is to find something where failure is inevitable, but, outside of some embarrassing moments, not harmful.
Visualize the effects of failure
There may be no clearer example of the effects of failure, than weight lifting (which makes a fantastic hobby for the previous step). While the exact mechanics of muscle growth are still being studied, the general concept is that hypertrophy (growth of muscle size) is impacted by the amount of time the muscle is kept under tension, and is particularly triggered by working to failure, i.e. the point at which a weight can no longer be lifted. Failure literally becomes the goal, because it is understood that this is necessary for growth. Failure becomes synonymous with best effort.
There are two distinct types of failure: growing pains (failures necessary for growth) and setbacks (failures that derail progress). In the case of weight lifting, safely failing on a lift is a growing pain, whereas injuring yourself from bad form would be a setback.
Weaponize the frustration of defeat
While “don’t get mad, get even” is a terrible piece of advice for our relationships, it may be fitting when it comes to failure. The research tells us that emotional reactions to failure are effective in spurring us to action.
Add a consideration of failures into your self-reflection and gratitude practices
In weight lifting, there is a window after training in which you need to take in sufficient amounts of protein in order for your muscles to grow. If you neglect this, the exercise will have limited results. Similarly, use the window of time after a failure to reflect, learn, and grow. Do not waste this opportunity.
Remember that failure is often subjective. Your concept of missing the mark, may look like someone else's idea of a rousing success. To help keep things in perspective, add some time to reflect on failures into your day to day life. Two great places for this are your end of day ritual or your gratitude practice.
Alex - My fear of failure has been crippling at times, preventing me from picking up new hobbies, pursuing certain sports, and even speaking out in professional settings. Overcoming failure has been one of the greatest challenges I’ve faced. Recontextualizing failure in my mind is an ongoing process that isn’t perfect, but, as I write this I’m planning a trip to Aspen where I plan to fail again and again to learn snowboarding, which I am very excited for.
Frank - Without sounding braggy, I’m pretty great at failure. I’ve had some truly spectacular gaffes in my life: failing to get my novel published, losing a 6 figure business to an unscrupulous lawyer, embarrassing myself in front of a packed house at 2009’s New York Comic Con, etc.. While I could look back on these, and many other examples, negatively, I view my willingness to try things and my comfort around failure as a bit of a superpower. I also acknowledge that this is a privilege I enjoy. Not everyone is in a position to take big risks, but I firmly believe that we can all try to become more brave in the face of failure
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The pursuit of happiness is one of our most worthwhile and meaningful endeavors -- yet finding satisfaction in life is often frustratingly elusive, especially when we’re dealing with challenging situations or personal failures. Gratitude is, in clinical tests, the most strongly correlated, effective, and consistent intervention found to increase subjective happiness. Build a cycle of gratitude into your day to day activities to reap a happier, healthier, and more well-balanced life.
See The Plan below for a list of practical steps to incorporate gratitude into your daily routines, and overall mindset.
Happiness is often most easily recognized in retrospect. We can remember times when we were happy, but in the moment, happiness typically feels more like contentment than euphoria. For some, this presents a “happiness paradox” in which their overactive pursuit of happiness, paired with consuming the heavily curated image of others enjoying their best life on social media, leads to a lack of contentment in the moment, and therefore a decrease in happiness. As the expression goes, we allow the perfect to become the enemy of the good.
To feel truly content, one must develop the ability to detect and appreciate the good in life. Modern life, much of which now takes place online, does not adequately condition us to do this, but rather applies a filter (sometimes literally) over reality to shoehorn it into an aesthetically pleasing shape that only resembles real happiness.
To begin, let’s define gratitude: The word is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what you have or receive, whether tangible or intangible. A component of gratitude involves recognizing that the source of that goodness exists at least partially outside yourself, which helps to draw a connection with something larger, be it nature, community, or a higher power.
First off, it’s essential to recognize that gratitude is most advantageous to wellbeing when it is viewed less as a specific set of actions (do x, y, and z), and more as a lens for perceiving the world. For this reason, we want to focus on incorporating gratitude into our mindset, which is accomplished through the creation of what we call a “gratitude cycle”, a series of connecting loops in our day that promote automaticity in our gratitude practice (i.e. it eventually becomes natural to us).
The Reflection Cycle
When you wake up, ask yourself:
If you don’t have great immediate answers to these questions, that’s alright. Gratitude takes practice. Keep at it. The answers may come to you later in the day.
To make this stick, anchor it to a regular morning activity, like brushing your teeth.
When you go to bed, reflect on:
To make this stick, anchor it to an end of day ritual.
The next morning, consider how the thing you were most grateful for the night before might aid you to overcome the new day's challenge.
The Reaction Cycle
When something goes particularly well (i.e. any time when you feel happiness acutely, in the moment), take a moment to record the following, in either a journal or the notes app on your phone:
When something goes wrong (i.e. anything that you consider a failure or significant mistake), take a moment to read your recent positive journal entries, then ask yourself:
Gratitude in action:
If you need a bit of a jumpstart to thinking about gratitude, or wish to level up your existing practice, here are some actions you can take:
Alex - The COVID-19 lockdown affected me in a lot of ways, but something I didn’t expect was the amount I would begin to focus on my own problems. Even though the world was in the throes of a catastrophe, because I was living, working, and relaxing in one small home, I started to really focus on myself, sometimes in a negative way. Gratitude really helps me to regain my perspective, have more appreciation, and go through my life with the ability to handle my problems in a healthier way.
Frank - Gratitude does not come naturally for me. I tend to fixate on my failures and blow them out of proportion. Incorporating a gratitude cycle into my morning and evening routines (and just having these types of routines) has helped me immensely to build the muscle of seeing the positive and dwelling on it daily.
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Modern life is stressful. Elevated levels of cortisol, the human stress hormone, depress our immune systems and lead to fatigue, weight gain, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. This is compounded by the fact that we spend more time indoors than ever before in history. The traditional Japanese practice of Shinrin-Yoku, or forest bathing, reduces cortisol, improves immunity, and may help prevent cancer.
See The Plan below for easy ways to incorporate elements of this practice into your daily life, regardless of where you live.
While some level of stress is unavoidable in life, excess stress can have a serious impact on our health. It’s been estimated that some 75-90% of all doctor’s office visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints.
The stress hormone cortisol depresses NK -- or natural killer -- cells, which are an essential part of our immune system. These cells aren’t just helpful in fighting off viruses and common illnesses, but are an essential tool in our body's defence against cancer.
A simple, common-sense practice that can significantly decrease cortisol and increase NK cell activity in a lasting way merits inclusion into our daily routines.
Forest bathing seems to accomplish a trifecta of positive actions on one’s body and state of mind: it incorporates exercise (walking through the woods), the calming effects of being in nature, and the inhalation of phytoncides -- the aromatic compounds produced by trees.
Determine what greenspace is accessible to you.
You’re probably closer to a park, forest, or wooded area than you might think. In the US, the average distance to the nearest forest is about 2.6 miles. Even if you live in a dense city, greenspace may be more accessible than you realize.
Look for places that:
Check out Park Finder, a joint project between the National Parks Service and L.L. Bean, to find nearby spots: https://findyourpark.com/park-finder
Incorporate nature into your daily routines
While you may not be able to fully immerse yourself in the forest every day, communing with nature regularly can have a marked impact on your sense of wellbeing.
Here are some potential options:
Immerse yourself monthly
Thankfully, a deep immersion in the forest has a long lasting impact on your NK cell activity, with results persisting for 30 days in clinical studies. Plan monthly hiking trips that take you into a heavily wooded area. We highly recommend visiting a national park, if feasible.
Depending on your ability and desire, you can aim for an exhilarating trek over rough terrain, or a leisurely stroll on a paved path. In either case, take some time to breathe deep, observe and appreciate your surroundings (did you know that looking at the fractal patterns that occur in nature has a positive impact on stress levels), and think about your unique place in this beautiful world.
Doing this monthly will keep your cancer-killing NK cells at an elevated level all year round.
Bring the benefits of the forest into your home
When Japanese researchers wanted to isolate the source of forest bathing’s impact on health, they experimented with placing test subjects in hotel rooms in Tokyo, and exposing them to the forest aromas (containing the phytoncides mentioned earlier) via an essential oil diffuser… and remarkably, they saw similar positive results.
So, why not just skip the forest altogether and get yourself a diffuser? While you’ll likely see good results, we believe that spending time in nature lends an array of compounding and complementary benefits to both our physical and mental health, and that making this time for yourself can have intangible rewards outside of what is observed in clinical trials. For this reason, while we suggest sourcing an all natural tree-derived essential oil to use in your home (hinoki is the type of tree most studied for this purpose, due to its prevalence in the forests of Japan), we still highly recommend sniffing these powerful aromas straight from the source as often as you can.
Alex - Before moving to the Pacific Northwest, the great outdoors and I had only a passing acquaintance. I hadn't visited any national parks and having grown up in a small beach town in New England, usually most of the time I spent in nature was at the shore. During the pandemic my husband and I relocated to a small coastal town from Seattle, Washington, and because of the restrictions around indoor activities, we took up hiking. This ended up being the best decision we made during the pandemic (the second best was buying a Le Creuset grill pan). The effects that hiking (and being in the woods in general) has had on our physical and emotional health goes almost beyond words. We find that when we haven’t been outdoors in a while, we can feel our emotional health slipping, something that we were never able to gauge before. Needless to say, this is a habit that we are glad to continue for life.
Frank - While not exactly forest bathing, I’ve made it a daily habit to sit by the water (in my case, the Strait of Juan de Fuca in Port Townsend, WA) while I drink my morning coffee. The ritual calms me, and helps to put my problems in perspective, as I look at the beautiful and unrelenting waves crashing against the pier.
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